Community: Threads of Grace
My guru often talked about spiritual community as a bonded organism. Instead of a path of individual liberation, he spoke about our work as a group sadhana. And while group sadhana has more than a few slippery slopes on which we might lose our footing such as co-dependency, loss of autonomy, surrender of agency, and the abdication of personal responsibility, participating in a spiritual community has been useful for me.
One of the principles of group sadhana, of pursing spiritual growth and understanding in the context of a group, is that we are working with one another, on behalf of one another, and in so doing, we don’t always need to be at everything or to do everything ourselves. Spending time in spiritual community is where I started considering the teaching many of you have heard me give: “No one can do the work for you, but you can not do it alone.”
I think about it in asana, right? I mean, my thighs are not going to stretch themselves and I am not going to get stronger in my arm balances unless I actually practice them. And yet, I would not be the practitioner or teacher I am today without the people who have been stretching their thighs next to me and struggling to get their asses off the ground in those arm balances on the next mat over. The practice is both personal and communal and therefore, so are its outcomes.
Some of us come to the practice community-oriented and sink right into the group experience. Give these folks a pot-luck or a group outing after class and their yoga is full and complete. Others come more individually-oriented, primarily interested in their poses, their limits, and their breakthroughs. You may or may not learn these people’s names, what they do for a living, and they will generally decline your invitations for that group dinner. You may not even see them smile much in class because they are focusing on themselves, not you. Of course, you might, but you are probably going to have to work for it a bit.
At any rate, if we stick around practice halls and yoga studios long enough, the group-focused peeps get to learn how to turn some of their attention toward themselves, their personal poses, and their unique processes of transformation. And, as luck would have it, the individually-focused people get drawn into the group, watch demos they may or may not need, and learn that stretching is not just for the thighs but involves cultivating patience, tolerating personality differences, and understanding different learning styles.
The way I see it, we do not change who we fundamentally are through yoga. (And these are gross generalizations of personality, not meant to be a nuanced portrait, just so we are clear.) At any rate, I have never seen an externally-processing, extroverted student stop being that way. I have, however, seen them learn to contain their energy, manage their out-loud voice more often, and learn to stay quieter more of the time. By the same token, I have never seen an internally-processing introverted type “break out their shell” and suddenly love a good partner exercise or group share. I have, however offer their depth with authenticity and gain access to shared joy.
Seems to me that COVID-19 is a challenge for both types of practitioners now, but perhaps the group-oriented folks are getting an especially difficult work-out. While technology breaks down some of the barriers that social distancing creates, for many, ZOOM is a poor substitute for real people in real time with real hugs. Of course, my guess is that before too long, even the most introverted among us are going to be missing our perky, chatty, extroverted companions. Simply put, nothing like social distancing protocols to highlight the blessing it is to practice in good company, even if that blessing is occasionally tinged with irritation and difficulty.
As I watched people sign into the classroom for Asana Junkies Livestream yesterday, I remembered another premise of group sadhana- that the bond created in and through a group of people who practice together transcends time and space. Community is woven by the threads of Grace, nurtured by our intention to value, care for, and attend to its sometimes-fragile seams of connection with action, presence, and respect. I do not always get this community thing right, mind you. I have missed the mark more times than I can count.
And yet, name after name— this person bendy, that person funny, this person outspoken, another shy, many first-timers, and many who have weathered the pain of the fabric of our community getting stretched thin, tearing in places, and who, each in their own way, have always been weaving themselves back into who we are becoming together. Like I said, earlier, I would not be who I am without the people who have been with me along the way.
So, happy in quarantine or jumping out of your skin, struggling alone or blissfully free from social pressures, here we still are— rolling out a mat, working on the poses, and talking alignment. However, beneath the surface-level of poses and personalities, I like to think we are weaving ourselves into a fabric of support, a blanket of protection, a garment of beauty in which each individual thread matters and yet is stronger and more beautiful than any one thread will ever be alone.
That’s what I have today. More soon.
