#TransgenderDayofVisibility

I am writing this entry on March 31, or #TransDayofVisibility. Years ago my sister-in-law began the process of transitioning and while much of her story is not mine to tell, having a family member share their process has been enlightening, heart-breaking, and makes hashtags and news stories much more relevant and close-to-home.  Like so many things, empathy and relevance dawn at different speeds, and in different ways, for each of us. 

Just this week one of my students sent me this infographic which I found very helpful and opened up a window of conversation between me and Kelly and with Kelly and his sister about the complexities of what I might consider “simple life choices” when one is  a human being who identifies as transgender. From deciding where to workout to navigating job-related fiascos,  clearly the challenges range well beyond bathrooms and pronouns.  And, while I am new to the game, my eyes are opening up and I am seeing new levels of privilege that come with moving through the world as someone who identifies as the gender of their birth sex. 

I recently listened to a podcast with a Jungian analyst speaking about the masculine and feminine principles that form some foundational tenets in Jungian analytic theory, and how the gender binary to which they point, are not reflective of many people’s experiences or to what is happening in our current world. (Remember Jungian work considers the individual and the collective, both the conscious and the unconscious. Different post for a different day.) She cited the fact that an increasing number of young people are rejecting the gender binary in ways that  previous generations haven’t. New words are emerging to speak to a greater diversity of experience and expression. Of course, each generation stands on the shoulders of the pioneers that came before so no generation is operating in isolation.  It was just one example of how cultural narratives are changing as brave individuals are charting new territory for themselves and for us all.

And, really, can we say that any singular trait is  masculine or feminine? Is it feminine to be relational  and masculine to have ambition?  Is one’s relationship to the Divine, God, the Supreme, to their spirituality necessarily  gendered? I mean, I get it at a philosophical level— energy can expand and contract, there are receptive and penetrating movements and so on. Yin/Yang, Shiva/Shakti, Consciousness/Matter. I get it. I also get that language is important and perhaps we can improve upon the language, not because it is “politically correct,” but because new language might actually be a more accurate representation of reality. 

As a cisgender human, I have always found the gender binary problematic— even when I didn’t have terms for the tension I felt. When I was 4 years old, Max was my best friend. When Max had his birthday party, his mother asked him who he wanted to invite. He said, “Tina. She is my best friend.”  His mother evidently called my mother trying to figure out what to do about her son who only had one person— a girl— on his guest list. As the story goes, Max’s mom made him invite all the boys in his class and allowed him to invite me as well, provided he included two of the other girls in our class so I wouldn’t be the only girl at the party. I am pretty sure I would not have noticed if I had been the only girl at the party, nor would I have cared if just me and Max played in the yard alone for his celebration, as long as I got to eat cake. 

I was a fiery kid (big shock) who climbed trees, played sports, and related more to animals than I did dolls. I wore my hair short and people often mistook me for a boy. My mom suggested that I get my ears pierced to show I was a girl, which resulted in people saying things like, “Look, that little boy has pierced ears!”

I could go on and on about the ways that gender conformity (and my lack thereof) followed me around my life, but to be clear, I am not saying the bumps and bruises I got in my childhood equate to the complexity of issues facing trans youth today as states like Arkansas pass legislation to deny medical care to transgender youth or South Dakota where there is a bill to ban transgender girls from competing in sports that match their gender identity.  I am saying that the gender binary has been too small for the full range of human experience and expression  for as long as I can remember and well before that, if we are brave enough to take the evidence to heart and be moved by the suffering, courage, and resiliency of others.

So, as we all know, I am not an expert on gender issues, inclusivity, or any such thing. Today,  I plan to get this article posted and settle down to some reading to educate myself and grow my humanity a bit beyond my habits and culturally-conditioned perceptions, which is what the yoga is all about. 

All right. More soon.

Keep the faith.