The Work of the Middle Ground
It’s a sunny day here in Bellingham, Washington with blue skies and fluffy clouds that hang like pillows for angels. After a strong back bend practice in my Heart is the Hub class, Locket and I are sitting on the couch waiting on a delivery I need to sign for, which has presented me with some time to write. But what to share today? Between the attack on the capital, the impeachment proceedings, the skyrocketing Covid-19 cases and resultant deaths, writing a yoga-related blog entry or talking about my dog seems likely to sound a bit tone deaf. The world feels more than a bit rugged these days. And, while I can call my government officials, vote, stay home, wear a mask, and am excited about vaccinations, so much of the landscape of modern times is outside the scope of my direct control.
Perhaps that is the value of practice for me right now. In the face of ongoing turmoil, division, upset, anxiety, and disturbing trends too numerous to name, I can sit on my cushion, repeat my mantra, chant the names of God, focus on my breath, get on my mat, and work on poses. Over those activities and more, I am fortunate to have some control— or at least some agency.
Sometimes I miss my people with a feeling that can best be described as a tender ache. From the sound of ujayi breath in a practice hall to the warm embrace of a friend’s arms around me, from smiling at a stranger to lounging on the couch with a pal and a cup of tea, my increasingly isolated life offers endless reminders of what has been lost— or put on hold— in the pandemic. So there is that.
On the side of silver linings, one of the best parts of the last year has been the opportunity to step into teaching ongoing weekly classes and to connect regularly with both new and long-term students. With no time devoted to the comings and goings of travel, I have had more energy to give to my personal practice and to preparing my classes which, in turn, has renewed my love of both.
Asana practice and teaching has been a stable part of my life for many decades now and while I am fairly reliable when it comes to getting to my mat through the various ups and downs of my personal circumstances, my enthusiasm for asana and my interest in the work of advancing into deeper shapes has not remained constant. For years I wanted nothing more than to spend my days practicing asana, talking yoga, discussing teaching, analyzing industry trends, etc. Then, for years, not so much. Lather, rinse and repeat. Like many of you, I have been through the cycle more than once. And, if experience is any kind of teacher, I’ll swing low again.
While I am on an upswing, I might as well state for the record that I am experiencing an interest in “advancing” that is different than when I thought that a deeper shape might yield some tangible reward. Lately, I just feel more curious about what I can and can’t do and what, within my current predicament with any given pose, I might be able to change with patience, persistence, and good technique. I used to think all the work was really going somewhere. I don’t think about in that way now. Right now, working where I am while keeping an eye on greater potential and possibility is what feels worthwhile and inspiring to me.
Truth be told, a lot of practice isn’t particularly inspiring, nor is it drudgery. A lot of practice is just the work of the middle ground—of maintaining the structure of regularity over time. I haven’t loved practice all the time, I haven’t hated practice all the time, but I have kept practicing. As a result, there are there are moments when I can see what all that time in the middle ground yields— relationships, perseverance, faith.
Yesterday I had a yoga playdate with some friends with whom I used to practice Bikram yoga. (A lot of Bikram yoga.) We worked hard, shared ideas, experiences, feedback, and explored various drills while bitching, moaning, laughing and working on hard poses. (Come to think of it, maybe it was just me who was complaining.) I didn’t really “get” anything new or snap a picture of a new-fangled asana attainment. I did get some insight about various stucknesses, some ideas about how to expand my capacity, and some good drills to practice and share. But most importantly, I ate the nourishing food of the good company that gets built in shared practice over time. I tasted the sweetness— not of the middle ground itself, but of what can only arise when enough time has been spent together in that place. More nourishing than any back bend is shared dignity, mutual respect, and trust. I was elated afterwards; inspired not by the asana itself, but by what is possible through asana together.
So, that’s what I’ve got for today— whether you are swinging high, plummeting low, or maintaining the middle, keep the faith and keep practicing.
More soon.
Oh, and also, tone deaf or not, did you know I have a some Live the Light of Yoga T-shirts, hoodies, and tank tops in my store? And, one of them features Locket?! Check them out.
