A Compassionate Mess

Today the sun is shining and the breeze carries a hint of spring’s annual promise of renewal.  And, of course, 500,000 people in the US  have died due to Covid-19, many Texans still do not have running water, and political shenanigans continue to rage on.  So, yes, I watch the news and I do know that posts about my backbends and my dog might seem a bit tone deaf in the midst of the catastrophic loss of life, climate change and extreme weather events, and ongoing political machinations that make me question if empathy is lost entirely from the sphere of public service. 

So, well, there is that. 

In the small bubble of my life, I  am preparing myself for another season of online yoga and looking ahead to some future possibilities for local classes, workshops, and intensives in collaboration with Bellingham Yoga Collective. As we know, in addition to immersing myself in my teaching and practicing, I have been absorbed in All Things Locket. As I have written about A LOT lately, working with principles of positive reinforcement has tremendous applications for a life of practice.

A local dog trainers’ business tagline reads, “There is never a reason to hurt a dog. Not even its feelings.”  In the same way, I’d like to avoid hurting my own feelings, hurting other people’s feelings, and so on. And yet, one thing I know to be true is that, despite lofty aims and heartfelt intentions,  I don’t always speak kindly to myself,  I hurt other people unintentionally, and even my beloved dog sometimes struggles to know what is expected of her, no matter how clearly I think I am communicating. 

At times, I have thought discipline was the key to a full human life. During other phases of my journey,  I knew for certain that transcendence was the answer. I even thought that one day, I’d have all the rough edges of my personality properly sanded down, smoothed out, and polished up. Be it the right diet, the correct postural alignment,  or an inspiring philosophical  perspective, I have cycled through many streams of teachings over the years, each of which has shaped me in ways too numerous to name, and many of which boiled down to dressed-up versions of perfectionism.

In my classes I often say that perfection is “ever-elusive and highly over-rated.” But the truth is, having never achieved perfection, I can’t really say whether or not perfection is highly over-rated. I mean, being perfect  might actually be awesome. I don’t know.  I can, however, testify to the fact that perfection has remained ever-elusive and what has emerged for me as a result of continually falling short is an increasing appreciation for kindness, generosity, and compassion. 

Sometimes, I can offer myself the small kindness of relaxed expectations, the generosity of self-acceptance, or the tenderness of compassion in the face of my own suffering. Other times, I can offer the blessings to  others and soften the hard edges of life with a kind word, a generous moment, or a compassionate ear. Particularly heart-warming and humbling is receiving kindness, generosity, and compassion from others. Recently, I made an amends for a thoughtless and hurtful comment I made  and was given the grace of forgiveness. Regardless of the source, these virtues bring love alive in the midst of the mess of life, not when the mess is all cleaned up and handled. 

The thing is, having it all together is a myth and does very little to connect me with my own humanity or to you in yours. Being a compassionate mess, on the other hand, goes a long way to breaking down the walls of projection, suspicion, and competition that separate me from myself, from you, and from life as it is. In one of my dog training books, the author writes that  she doesn’t  think dogs love us unconditionally. (Gasp!) She said dogs get angry, hurt, frustrated and even traumatized. What we are seeing as unconditional love in our furry companion  is more about an overall sense of our  relationship as trustworthy, as opposed to unconditional love. Shocking as it may be, not even dogs are loving all the time. 

My guru’s guru, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, was feeding a stray dog that had wandered onto his ashram in India. Once Yogi Ramsuratkumar  was out of food, the dog walked away in search of treats somewhere else. Yogi Ramsuratkumar said, “See? No food, no dog.” 

So, whether the food is literal in the case of the dog or figurative,  the good news is that a regular diet of kindness, generosity and compassion can nourish, sustain,  and fortify us all whether we feed it to ourselves, to another, or allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to receive the sustaining grace from someone else. 

Onward we go. More soon. 

Also— March classes are up and ready for registration. Please join me. All classes are recorded and archived indefinitely on Teachable. Live attendance is not required and ongoing access is easy.

Depth in the Basics is a Level 1/2 class designed to bring deeper awareness and insight to basic poses.  I provide lots of options to make the poses as accessible as possible and plenty of technical information to satisfy any alignment-lover out there. I usually include a few philosophical references  and thematic reminders as well. (5-Week Session)

Dedicated Action is a Level 2/3 class and is perfect for anyone who wants to work with alignment technique in advancing poses. I orient most classes toward a peak pose so that we can deconstruct the posture and the salient features of the pose that help bring it alive. Many people find the Level 1/2 and Level 2/3 to be a perfect T/Th rhythm and a great way to make progress. (4-week Session)

Asana Junkies is an intermediate group practice, designed for practitioners who want a strong practice and who enjoy the structure of a guided experience. It differs from Level 2/3 in that it is 2 hours long, not 75-minutes and we work more with batches of poses— like a few different arms balances— rather than a more focused  peak pose strategy. (5-Week Session)

Informed Flow is a strong, mixed-level vinyasa practice intended for students who already know a broad range of postures, are willing to modify, and who are interested in developing strength and stamina through breath-based movement.  I include instructions, modifications, cautions, and pep talks along the way. (4-Week Session)