A Moment of Suffering
Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to be on one of the panels for Yoga and COVD- 19: Community Conversations to Support a Compassionate and Resilient Response. I enjoyed hearing from the other presenters and contributing to the conversation that Barrie Risman organized. .
One of the unifying themes in this panel was that sometimes we simply can not fix things. Our practices, perspectives, and past experiences do not always make us feel better. Sometimes, all we can do is be with ourselves as we are and with a situation as it is. We all agreed that in the pandemic-- normal is being redefined and each person is in a process of recalibration personally, financially, professionally, and culturally.
As we talked, I kept thinking that while we do not have to do any of this perfectly, we can work toward greater degrees of authenticity. For instance, instead of being "good yogis who do not feel afraid" we can be "authentic practitioners who acknowledge fear and turn our attention toward faith, service, and perspectives that are rooted in love, compassion and care."
During the Q&A portion of the call, one of the listeners asked a question about dealing with strong emotions. We talked a bit about contextual ways to cope and relate with the groundlessness of the current situation. I also mentioned a simple practice that I use in moments of suffering. I made a recording of the practice I referred to in the hopes that you might find it useful in your sadhana and/or teaching. The process is inspired by some of the work we did in the Mindfulness Self-Compassion (MSC) program.
The basic process is simple and similar to some of the practices I offered in the Gift of Practice course I taught over the holidays. (This course is now available as a downloadable PDF with written instructions and downloadable audio recordings to use.)
Sit comfortably.
If it is safe and comfortable to close your eyes, do so.
Focus on your natural breath.
Imagine each exhale helping you grow a little heavier in your seat, more present, more aware.
Acknowledge to yourself, "This is a moment of suffering."
Repeat the words to yourself or out loud: "This is a moment of suffering."
If the suffering has a name-- fear, anxiety, loss, grief, anger, despair, etc. name it. If there is no name you can find to describe your feeling, acknowledge that.
Scan your body for where the suffering is located. Maybe your jaw is tense, your heart is racing, or your stomach is roiling.
Anchor your suffering in the moment and in your direct embodied experience.
Remind yourself that you are not alone in this moment of suffering. For all of the uniqueness of your moment and circumstance, other people feel similar feelings- now, in the past, and in the future. Connect yourself to the shared human experience of suffering.
Inhale and offer yourself compassion, care, love.
Exhale and offer compassion, care and love to others.
Inhale for you.
Exhale for others.
Like that. repeat.
If you need more love, inhale and exhale for yourself. If you have more to give, inhale and exhale for others.
Repeat.
Soften your breath so it returns to normal.
Gently open your eyes.
Your browser doesn't support HTML5 audio
The great thing about this practice is that it allows you to greet the moment of suffering as it is and yourself as you are without trying to change, manipulate, or fix the moment or yourself. This approach can feel counter-intuitive to many people, particularly if you have become accustomed to using yoga as a way to shift, change, and or transform yourself or your life circumstances.
Of course, the great irony of acceptance is that our observed, accepted-for-what-it-is-experience often changes. From the perspective I am offering, change is a by-product of loving awareness, not the goal of the practice itself.
This simple practice also helps heal feelings of shame and isolation by connecting our personal experience to a shared human unfolding. Each of us has a story full of particularity and difference. And everyone in a human body suffers similar feelings--loss, anger, grief, jealousy, fear, loneliness, and moments that can only be described as desperation. We are part of a shared story. If COVID-19 has one lesson to teach us, it seems to me, at the very least, COVID-19 is a teacher of connectedness, inter-dependence, and shared humanity. The virus does not care about race, political affiliation, sexual orientation, gender identification, national borders, the name we give to God, how we worship, and whether or not we pray.
This short practice is about bringing love to life in and through the moment as it is and in and through ourselves as we are. Not to be confused with the love we find easy to offer and accept, the love of which I am speaking makes room for suffering and allows us to struggle with dignity, honesty, and in good company. This is a love of truth-telling that is big enough to hold the immediacy of our suffering with a fullness of Heart that is not limited by our circumstances or our moments of contraction, fear, and pain.
So, a simple practice that is not always easy.
More soon.
Also, my podcast is up and running and the second episode is about suffering as luck would have it, So, if you want more on this theme, have at it. And really, suffering is not always as depressing as it sounds.
And please share this entry with anyone you feel might benefit.